Get your drinks ready, we're going back to the beginning with a drinking game worthy lineage and the earliest mention of Pontius Pilate. After narrowly evading being thrown off a cliff, Jesus decides to keep his divinity quiet.
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After a seemingly unending run-on sentence, the opening chapters of Luke provide insight into the conceptions of John the Baptist and Jesus. We get a glimpse of Jesus as a child, and find ourselves wondering, what is a manger?
Read MoreThe second book of the New Testament comes to a close, in person, with trick questions, dusty feet, and emotional support animals.
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The masses are manipulated into crying for the death of Jesus, now mocked as the King of the Jews. The final chapters of Mark leave us wanting to know more about the origins of the wine-soaked sponge and if Yahweh is super cut?
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As the end of his life draws near, Jesus' tone and tune change, reminding his disciples of the prophecy currently being fulfilled. Ears and clothing are both lost as Jesus is arrested, bringing about the beginning of the end.
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A truly terrible story is followed by what might be a Biblical black widow and a glimpse of what marriage will be like in Heaven. Confusing logic puzzles aren't solved, and Emily braces herself for a lack of detail to come.
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We're kicking the show off with a Rock a Clock segment, followed by a possible new commandment, and a riveting discussion about worldly possessions and the economic system in Haven. Word salad Jesus turns down the budget Hemsworths offer while traveling the tourist track on just one virginal donkey.
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In a book of repeated stories, things are getting increasingly weird as Jesus gets sassier. Cockadoodledoodling, signs for the Pharisees, and a secretive trip up the mountain leave us wondering how to best season our sacrifices.
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After showing off his water walking skills, Jesus makes sure everyone gets something to eat, and then sneaks into a safe house. Meanwhile, Herod (which one, we're not quite sure), placates his wife with John the Baptist's head on a platter.
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Jesus and his disciples take a boat tour, sharing parables with the people and playing an epic game of telephone. Casseroles are shared by busy bodies, and we learn more about casting out demons.
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Hold on because Mark is moving fast! The roof is off, the demons are out, and we're feeling things in our hearties as Jesus Not So Meek & Mild gets cozy with the misfits.
Read MoreWe're kicking off the first bonus episode of the New Testament with a lewd little treat (please skip to 4:19 if you'd like to skip some adults only comedy), crying doves, and a long quiz.
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Matthew draws to a close with the death of a betrayer, the beginning of Murder Meadow, and the, not as graphic as expected, death of Jesus. Despite the "cleaner" than normal ending, we're still left with questions about money laundering, anti-semitism, and the true location of Jesus' tomb.
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The penultimate episode of Matthew is action packed, starting off work with virgins toking lamps, an intense and whacky Jesus, and parables found lacking. The disciples and Jesus share their last meal before betrayal and denial.
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After an update about Emily's encounters with Christians, we are blessed with a chapter-long rant from Jesus, in which he condemns capitalism and rips into the offspring of vipers.
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Jesus is busy this week! He's riding donkeys, overturning tables, cursing trees, and answering questions in between speaking in metaphors as he preaches. There may be lots of answers to be had but no more questions are allowed.
Jase provides some historical context about Jesus, Emily is introduced to a song, and an ancient Karen is discovered. Jesus' complaint policy is revealed, and at least one famous saying is spoken,
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Familiar but different stories, heads on platters, and a call back to Jonah await you in today's lively episode! Prophets are possibly resurrected and Emily comes to an interesting conclusion about Jesus. Make sure to tune if for more mouth stuff and ghosts!
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We're setting aside all we've been taught and looking to the text for a better understanding of Jesus. Discussing his siblings, his storytelling methods, and the knack he has for hyping himself. Make sure to check out Patreon for Emily's new drink recipes!
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Jesus shares the ability to heal and raise the dead with his disciples, but with great power comes the possibility of death and persecution. Perhaps the apple didn't fall too far from the Rock...
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