What the hoof is going on here? We are about to cover clean vs unclean animals to eat. Such strong and powerful words against god's great creatures. Specifically, any kind of Raven is a complete abomination! Then we move on to fountains of blood with childbirth, graphically described skin diseases and then we close it down in a big way with defiling mold. Say what?!
Read MoreMoses ornates Aaron and his sons. We get some visuals of Moses getting them all fancy as Yaweh commanded. Don't worry it gets weirder. Blood is about to get spread all over the place, so awkward stacking of things and then wave all that around as an offering at the end of which Aaron and his sons had to chill for 7 days (and they did). Then we are blessed with some more really graphic offerings, crazy fire death along with a few opportunities to drink.
Read MoreAlright sinners, this one is for you. Your dirty little secrets are not safe from judgement, you know the ones we're talking about. But what if you don't know that you are sinning? Oh don't worry, there are procedures for you as well my friend! Before you shout shenanigans about this particular instance....it's kind of like when you break a law you didn't know was a law, you are still responsible right? The "i didn't know" defense also doesn't fly with Yaweh. Lesson learned here: you're guilty if you break the biblical rules whether you know it or not and offerings must be made. We also cover more offering procedures and bring back the wave and heave offerings.
Read MoreHooray! It's Levitivcus time. That also means a new theme song that we are super excited about! First up on the docket, we are covering burnt, grain, fellowship and sin offering procedures. At first, this may sound kinds boring, but yet again, the bible gives us some super interesting instructions and visuals. Can you smell what the bible is cooking? We have a hard time stomaching some of this odorific manificence! This is an episode that will make you hungry and sick to your stomach all at the same time.
Read MoreWe've made it to the end of Exodus! Finally!!! Oops, we mean huzzah! To end this fairly long repetative book of the bible, we start by recapping the garments that Aaron is going to wear. In the final chapter, we get the exact instructions on how to put all these pieces together. Moses appears to be the only one constructing this bad boy, but he does seem to have that certain glow, so it makes sense. And there you have it, Exodus is over and we head on to the next Book - Leviticus.
Read MoreHere we go again....more instructions on how to build things. It's like bible study purgatory! We try to figure out what's the significance of giving these instructions multiple times. This time though, it seems the instructions are actually being put to good use and the structures are being created. The use of acacia wood is pretty strong here. Can we say that this is the wood of choice for biblical time architecture? Lastly, we end with a little bit of biblical accounting.
Read MoreSo no one gets to see God's face, not even Moses without being destroyed? Epic! God also calls Moses out on breaking the first tablets that were made on Mount Sinai and makes a second set. We kind of get the impression that God is kind of acting like a single parent in which he plays multiple parenting roles for his children on earth. Whoa, deep! Also, for the record, this part of the Bible seems like total Déjà vu Groundhog day style. We've definitely heard a lot of this before but it clearly bares repeating since it's in the bible twice in Exodus.
Read MoreThis could quite possibly be the smelliest of chapters we've read thus far. Bring on the fancy incense alter blueprints, an ancient census and annointing oil! Kudos to the written word giving very precise and detailed instructions. Let's also not forget the Sabbath! We learn that we must observe it or die. No big deal! Near the end of this chapter we learn that Moses & Yaweh both have major anger issues. The 10 Commandment Tablets finally make their appearance, but they don't last long. Lasty, Aaron gives us an excuse that rivals "the dog ate my homework" for the reason why the golden calf idol was created. Just wow!
Read MoreWe gotta say, the priests of the bible must've looked super fly! In this chapter, we learn about judgement breastplates, gemstones, gold and other priestly garment requirements. But wait, it gets better. Aaron and his sons are ordered to do some pretty disgusting things including waving ram parts in the air. Yuck! The visuals here are just too much!
Read MoreWho knew Yaweh was such an interior designer? Yaweh covers some pretty weirdly designed furniture items by today's standards including The Arc of the Covenant - cue the Indiana Jones theme. Yes, the same arc that was in Indiana Jones (we'll wait while you look it up).
Read MoreWe hope you're ready to put on your lawschool pants, because the Bible is about to deliver some serious Ox Law. This week we read about the extensive protection of property, responsibilities as well as law, justice, mercy and the Sabbath.
Read MoreThis week we get to read The Ten Commandments that are given to Moses on Mount Sinai. Somehow that story seems so different from what we remember as kids!
Read MoreThe saga of Moses and the Israelites continues! Seems to be a lot of murmuring going on. We get to see water pour out of a rock, we get to meet Jethro (not to be confused with the famous Tull) and Moses judges the masses.
Read MoreThis week we have another famous story of the miracles that God does for Moses and his people: The Parting of the Red Sea.
Read MoreJust in case you still hadn't had enough plagues, Yahweh has a few left, including the biggest plague of all: Passover.
Read MoreMoses and Aaron enact God's epic punishments on Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Boils, Flies, Frogs, Blood Rivers, and much much more!
Read MoreThe burning bush is still speaking and whips out some disturbing magic tricks to prove it is Yahweh. From there, things go downhill for Moses and the Israelites.
Read MoreToday we get Moses' origin story! A prince of Egypt or a hebrew rebel? Maybe this burning bush will tell us something about it.
Read MoreGenesis ends with a lot of prophecies from Jacob, a family burial in the cave that they DEFINITELY own, and finally, the end of Joseph.
Read MoreAfter being reunited with his family, Joseph leverages the famine into a system of buying land and instating a nationwide tax. So modern!
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